No. 259 – On Grief and Connection

Malcolm X and Kwame Nkrumah

My Grandmama passed on Saturday. I thought I got all my tears out Saturday, but I’ll be grieving and celebrating her until my spirit feels it’s enough. While showering last night, I saw her smiling face and heard her say, “I’m proud of you, son. It’s going to be alright.” There were some extra water droplets in that shower. The weekend felt strange. Grandmama was on my mind and I was sad. Ahmaud Arbery was on my mind and I was numb. I still tried to make progress on my projects. Outside of cleaning and cooking some acceptable jollof rice, I felt like I was on a treadmill the rest of the weekend. So, I went to bed early last night.

This morning, I woke up thinking about black folks, how we’ve been in a low-grade state of mourning for hundreds of years, and the impact that has had on our productivity. Hundreds of thousands endured nearly 250 years of slavery. Folks lived through failure Reconstruction. Massacres in cities across the country. Jim Crow. Redlining. Prison industrial complex. Impunity for the killing of our people. It’s remarkable that black folks have created so much magic in the midst of this mourning.

What’s the salve?

During Jill Scott and Erykah Badu’s session Saturday, Ms. Scott described her mom as a healer. We’ve been applying salves to our wounds for a long time – healing ourselves. That session between Ms. Scott and Ms. Badu was a prime example.

I don’t think there’s a salve that we haven’t already been applying to ourselves. I do though believe there is more healing waiting for us in black folks in the Diaspora connecting with our cousins in Africa. We’re not alone in our grief. Black folks across Africa have been in a state of low-grade grief as well. Folks are navigating the vestiges of colonialism, including inconsistent leadership, resource extraction, muted voices on the global stage, and more.

It’s exhausting, yet folks across Africa have been applying their own salves for centuries as well. I’m pretty sure they’re similar to the ones we’ve been applying here in the US. We’ve been apart for so long, and have made attempts to connect over the centuries, though they’ve never quite stuck. It’s essential that we figure out how to make the connection stick.

So we saw that the first thing to do was to unite our people, not only unite us internally, but we have to be united with our brothers and sisters abroad. It was for that purpose that I spent five months in the Middle East and Africa during the summer. The trip was very enlightening, inspiring, and fruitful. I didn’t go into any African country, or any country in the Middle East for that matter, and run into any closed door, closed mind, or closed heart. I found a warm reception and an amazingly deep interest and sympathy for the Black man in this country in regards to our struggle for human rights.

Malcolm X

Hopefully, this resonates with some and eventually with a lot. If we can connect with our folks in Africa, I believe we’ll find the healing we need to no longer push for the structural changes needed in the US, Latin America, Europe, and wherever else black people are. We’ll restructure them.

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